Voices

Voices in my head, two foot icicles piercing my skull.
These images burn my thoughts like an uncontrolled brushfire.
Memories, fantasies, nightmares;
sometimes difficult to distinguish.

Voices in my head, a glimmer of who I really am?
A roller coaster of emotions explode inside my mind.
Temporarily tempered by sleep;
sometimes difficult for me to wake.

Voices in my head, ripping life from my weakening grasp.
Second guessing the meaning of everything.
Does the sun really shine;
sometimes difficult for me to see.

Voices in my head.
Wish they were dead.
Pray for silence.
No response.

in the end

I do not want to be something I am not.
Do not want to pretend to be something you want.
Seems like I have ears but I do not hear.
Like I have eyes but I cannot see.

I practiced using the right words.
Practiced all the trivial acts of kindness.
I reinvented a more comfortable you.
Something more like what I want.

Your words are still on my lips.
Perverted into weekly therapy.
I changed all the difficult parts.
Reassigned my own improved meanings.

I can justify my every action.
Insult for insult.
An eye for an eye.
A lie to warm my heart at night.

Who am I becoming?
Where am I going?
Why am I here?
Will I find you in the end?