in the end

I do not want to be something I am not.
Do not want to pretend to be something you want.
Seems like I have ears but I do not hear.
Like I have eyes but I cannot see.

I practiced using the right words.
Practiced all the trivial acts of kindness.
I reinvented a more comfortable you.
Something more like what I want.

Your words are still on my lips.
Perverted into weekly therapy.
I changed all the difficult parts.
Reassigned my own improved meanings.

I can justify my every action.
Insult for insult.
An eye for an eye.
A lie to warm my heart at night.

Who am I becoming?
Where am I going?
Why am I here?
Will I find you in the end?