in the end

I do not want to be something I am not.
Do not want to pretend to be something you want.
Seems like I have ears but I do not hear.
Like I have eyes but I cannot see.

I practiced using the right words.
Practiced all the trivial acts of kindness.
I reinvented a more comfortable you.
Something more like what I want.

Your words are still on my lips.
Perverted into weekly therapy.
I changed all the difficult parts.
Reassigned my own improved meanings.

I can justify my every action.
Insult for insult.
An eye for an eye.
A lie to warm my heart at night.

Who am I becoming?
Where am I going?
Why am I here?
Will I find you in the end?


7 thoughts on “in the end

  1. nt wright makes a really good point about the kind of jesus many xians believe in vs the kind that got himself crucified by rome:

    “…Jesus has to be both credible and crucifiable in first-century Galilee, that you can’t have a Jesus who wandered around saying the kinds of things that people would’ve found either incomprehensible or ridiculous or just boring or whatever. So he has to fit into his context, but at the same time he has to be sufficiently provocative for the crucifixion to be in a sense a natural consequence.”

    more here:

    ultimately i think u become the jesus u believe in and to look at who most people are becoming it begins to look like the kingdom of god is really not so much different from the kingdoms of this world after all.

  2. Pingback: Authority of Scripture, NT Wright, and On Controversy « Lisa of Longbourn

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